Group

Tuesdays. I look forward to them. I get to go to my support group. It's an Aspergers support group, and although Emily has Autism, they are both in the Autism Spectrum, so we all share very similar stories. I love these people. When Emily was diagnosed, I muddled through this fog of denial and overwhelmingness, and then I found them.  They lifted my fog, gave me strength, knowledge,  & belief in myself as a mother.  We laugh together, we cry together, we get angry together.  I can't imagine my life without them. 

I also go to an Autism support group one Friday a month. This one is fairly new to me, although the women I have met through it I feel like I have known forever. I believe there is nothing stronger in this world than a group of mothers committed to making sure their children live their lives to the uttmost fullest.  These women are amazing. They are strong, they are flexible, they do not back down in the face of adversity. I am humbled to be in their presence. 

The thing about group is that you can be yourself. You can say whatever you want, ask any question you want, and no one judges you for it. Everyone has been there, everyone understands, everyone GETS IT. You can have friends that have neurotypical children, and they listen, and feel for you, but they don't get it. They can't possibly. But people at group do. And that's why I love them. They are like oxygen to me.

I sometimes think of what my life might be like if Emily didn't have Autism. Would it be easier? Yes. Would it be less stressful, less physically, mentally, and emotionally draining? Perhaps. But I also think it would be more lonely, less joyful and not as fulfilling. I would not have had all these beautiful, wonderful, remarkable people cross my path, filling my life of their joy and friendship. That I cannot regret. I cannot condemn her Autism for the simple fact that it has taken me down a road that is full and rich and joyous. Yes, it is full of potholes. Yes, sometimes the gravel hurts my feet and the mud on it is hard to walk through - but still, a lovely road nonetheless.